Clearly.

Clearly, I have an issue. Because no matter how hard I try, money always ends up burning a hole in my pocket, I'm always in need of a new pair of shoes, I can fill up a journal faster than anyone I know, I have this heart that tries to love all at once, making it easy to break all at once, I have a tendency to trust people more than I should and I think that I push away the people that care about me the most because I'm more afraid if them leaving than anything, and I had a good Christmas and I donated to those on need and I spent time with my family and I was held tight by the boy who loves me, and we might've enjoyed watching Planet of the Apes a little too much, but it's alright because that's what the holidays and breaks are about. Issues and family time and fear and holding and being held.

Clearly, I have a very good life. A good life for me. I really wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so tired however, and I hear a dream calling my name from that place that's right between awake and asleep and it's shouting good things so I think I'll listen and drift away happy tonight.

Much love always & forever,

Katherine

Getaway.

On Sunday I received an unexpected phone call, and a quick two hours later I was on my way to St. George for the next three days. These kinds of things never happen to me. While I quite enjoy spontaneity, it never occurs to the universe to allow me to do anything spontaneous or on a whim.

It was so fun to just get away from everything and just let go. I was able to follow a photographer around at a wedding and also climb red rocks and see an amazing skyline and just be a little warmer than our hometown. We went and saw movies, toured a lot of parking lots while trying not to be lost and also ate lots of dark chocolate covered pomegranates. It was also surprisingly spiritual, as I was able to talk about things that I don't really discuss with other people and I really came to terms with who I am, who I want to be, what I want to do, how I want to do it, and whether or not I really need an iPhone (AKA: A third arm).

In the end I realized that while it is incredible to run away from reality for a little while, (even if it is amidst a lot of blue hairs and their grandchildren) when it comes down to it, you'll still leave behind an empty hotel room, a messy bed, a warmer climate, but you'll take away endless memories filled with inside jokes and a lovely friendship.


I can't believe Christmas is coming so soon. It still hasn't hit me. Maybe it should snow a tiny bit? I hope you've had a wonderful week thus far!

Much Love & Spontaneity,

Katherine

Let it always be known that I was who I am.

Within the past week I've really began to understand who I am, and how I fit into this world. It's a curious thing to observe others and how they fit with their respective families, and how everyone is tied together. Truly, each person is connected to one another on this planet and by even being a tiny bit more optimistic, one can change the course of how people around them feel and react.

I'm starting to think that we are who we are, and though we can change and adapt and become whatever we please, we have our own uniqueness that is just there, of course the way we were raised and the perceptions we have as we grow older can change our views on things in life, but truly, people are always who they were. Our core, our very deepest part of the soul is who we are, and it is to that we must hold to.

"Rambling Man" by Laura Marling is the inspiration for the title of this post. You can watch it here.

In One Breath.

"Oh hey," I'll say the day you come home and give you a hug so big you'll have to wiggle free to breathe, but of course you'll like it because you missed me just as much as I miss you, if not more because you were the one that left to go find yourself a better you, which is funny because I thought you were just fine, maybe even perfect the way you were when you were here, but who am I to decide, because the further you go, the more I realize how much you and I need to grow on our own before we can ever really be free to chase our dream, yes that dream, the one that holds us together and keeps us calling, writing, living, breathing, hearts beating in perfect time even though it's so hard, oh it's so hard, especially when the fighting gets so bad and our hearts get so sad that we wonder what we're even doing here and why we keep trying when all we do is cause more pain and tears than the average person should have to endure, but who decided what was average and when did they decide and how come it affects us so personally, especially since we think we're different and we can beat the odds, and you even bought me a ring that sparkles and shines and I got you one too, but what does that even mean because who knows, maybe we can beat the highest odds, but maybe not, and we just have to see the next time I can hug you, because I'll just take a death breath and say,
"Oh hey."

Watch out for that doughnut.

Fourth period. Test corrections. No sleep last night.

Sometimes I think I have the heaviest eyelids in the world.

Much Love & Nap time (please),

Katherine

P.S. At least I managed to duck and avoid the doughnut chucked at the guy behind me.