Gagged & Bound

Love

I am gagged and bound by
a four letter word that
people use everyday.

It gets caught in my throat
and makes me choke
as I find something else to say.


Love.

I can't say it.
I tell it to my family.
I can say it to them, the people I would do anything for.
But in passing conversation,
I can't.

It's stuck.
Held there, suspended in my throat by past experiences and pain.
People I love go away.
The End.
It's how it's always been. People I trust leave too.
I can't even say it to my girlfriends.
My best friends.
I do love them,
I just can't say it.
I believe once it's said, it loses a lot of its meaning. Once it's out there, once it's been said, it's gone. Just another thing that people disregard. Ignore. It's a label. Something that people toss carelessly at one another.
That word is thrown around like it means nothing.
And to me,
it means everything.

That word, weighed down by so much pressure, only escapes my lips every once in awhile -- for fear that the ones I love,
will




d
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p
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