In a desperate attempt to understand what goes on in a male mind, I asked one of my friends to please explain why a guy can treat a girl like she's the only thing he cares for, but still want to interact and date and be with other girls. He then proceeded to give me an analogy that several
other guys have agreed with wholeheartedly.
Guys view girls like a buffet table of desserts. They see their favorite dessert and get a heaping helping on their plate. But by the time they get around to the other side of the table, other desserts start to look appetizing as well. They then add some smaller portions of the other desserts to the plate, all while keeping their favorite dessert on the plate.
I was upset with my friend. "What the??! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! What if I don't want to be on the plate anymore??"
He responded, "Oh no. A dessert cannot jump off the plate. Once it's on the plate, it is
on the plate."I have asked several guys since then if this is true, and most of them have agreed to an extent. And I've asked why the crap a we cannot have our free will and just "Dessert Overboard" and not have to share our plate with other delicacies. Each responded with something along the lines of, "It's our
favorite dessert. And we will want the most of it. No matter what else we try, we will always come back to it."
Que all the questions like,
"What if you find an
even better dessert?"
"What if you decide to dump all desserts for that
even better one?"
"What if you just never want to settle down with your 'favorite' dessert?"
And so on.
Then I began to think about my favorite dessert.
Chocolate chip cookies.
One in particular.
My chocolate chip cookie. He's all I wanted in a dessert. My favorite. No matter what other dessert I try, I will always love a chocolate chip cookie. It's simple, perfect, comforting, it tastes like home. It just
fits.And once upon a time, my chocolate chip cookie and I tried to be the only desserts on each others plates. It went well for a time. Until my parents wanted me to try other desserts. They were so worried about me only eating chocolate chip cookies that they made all sorts of rules about how I hate to eat two other desserts before eating my favorite. It didn't necessarily work. They also begged my cookie to please try other desserts on his plate.
He refused.
But after watching me partake of other desserts for so long, he was frustrated that I couldn't please both him and my parents and thus ended our exclusive dessert dating. He found other desserts to eat, and I swore off desserts.
Seriously.
For about 4 or 5 months I was extremely frustrated with desserts. Period. I wanted
my chocolate chip cookie, and he was gorging himself on a diet of other desserts. Desserts that were nutty and crunchy and not anything like the brownie that he professed I was. I was hurt. And in denial. But then, I tried a little bit of other desserts. Just nibbles. And I was okay.
I found I liked a Snickerdoodle quiet a bit. And had a couple of M&M's along the way. None ever compared to my favorite. I never found another chocolate chip cookie.
But then out of nowhere,
my chocolate chip cookie came back. He hopped on my plate and forced me to remember all of our good times and why I loved chocolate chip cookies so much. And in the midst of all this confusion and happiness at having
my cookie back, I swept my plate clean. I got rid of any traces of Snickerdoodle, no more M&M's,
nothing. I tenderly placed my favorite dessert in the middle of my plate and watched over it. No other desserts interested me as I had missed
my favorite for so long.
Unfortunately, the past had taught him to be careful. And his plate was not cleared for me. He made me promise to eat other desserts too. He didn't want to just eat my brownie self. He wanted the best of every dessert. He professed that I was his stack of brownies, his absolute favorite, and the rest were just single Skittles. A Skittle here and there to satiate his appetite.
And again, I was confused.
Here I was, wanted only
my cookie, and he wanted other desserts still. And I had just cut all ties with my other desserts. I had made it very clear that I wanted nothing from them. And they had cleared their plates of me.
Alone I sit tonight, wondering what kind of Skittle my cookie is out with at the moment, and wondering if she truly understands how much I care about that cookie. That every time she looks at him, she's looking at the only dessert that has made me feel the way I do. The dessert that makes me feel like fairy tales do come true, the dessert that makes me want to fly. That she is spending time with the only dessert that has ever come close to making me want it forever.
Of course I try to imagine all the desserts that I have never tried. But honestly, I have lost the desire. I just want my comfortable chocolate chip cookie that will always have a power over me that I will never understand. We are forced apart, and the distance this time is not created by worried parents, but by the cookie himself. And that is what hurts the most.
So I denied myself of the only dessert I wanted. I placed him on the counter next to my plate and stared at the emptiness of it. I sat wondering how it all will play out.
"I'm the hero of this story, don't need to be saved."And as I look back and forth between my empty plate and my crumbly cookie on the counter, my plate is slowly filled with tiny drops of feeling that run down my cheeks, eager to fill my plate with something,
anything, in order to help me forget my favorite dessert.
