Packaged and Sealed.

There are emotions that rage in everyone.
Some are more hidden than others,
and only rear their ugly heads at
the most inopportune moments.
There is exhaustion, a result of my own procrastination.
There is guilt, caused by my conscience.
There is irritation, caused by the man taking forever to fix my camera.
There is stress, caused by a multitude of circumstances.
There is pain, because I'm lonely.
There is more.
There is always more.
And all of these are stuck to my insides, rising to my eyes and
threatening to escape as I just try,
I try and try to box myself in.

Flashback.

"Are you Chinese?" the girl spat at me.
"No..." I mumbled. "I'm half Hmong."
"Monk? What's that?" She looked at me like I should be bald and humming in an orange robe.
"Not Monk. Hmong. My mom is from Laos." I clarified.
"Where's that?"
"It's over by Thailand."
"Where's Thailand?"
Had this girl even heard of a world map?
"Under China. On the other side of the world?" I answered, trying not to let too much sarcasm coat my voice.
"Why do your eyes look like that?" She demanded, narrowing hers.
"Like what?" I asked, hoping she would drop it. She didn't.
"Like this." She used her hands to stretch her eyes into barely visible slits.
"All squinty and stuff. Can you even see?"
I hadn't thought my eyes were any different from anyone else. They worked just fine.
"I have 20-20 vision." I said.
"I heard that's not even that good." She retorted.
I said nothing, hoping she would go away. The bell rang, signaling the end of recess. The girl skipped to the front of the line with her friends and I stayed behind. My arms were crossed in front of my chest as if to hold in all the tears and stop my heart from hurting. Was I really that different from everyone else? I inhaled deeply and wondered how the rest of 3rd grade was going to go.

Fall.

September is made
with burning trees
apple cider
and falling leaves.

It's crocheted in brown
and stitched in yellow.
It is cozy scarves
and a cuddly fellow.

It is warmth from
love, cold shivers
from rain and a
brightness of hope
that knows no name.

--Katherine Ellis
Sept. 10, 2011

From a Letter to His Daughter

Ralph Waldo Emerson



Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.

This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays.


Much Love & Courage,

Katherine

Talent.

A girl named Lisa drew this picture for me.
Isn't she incredibly talented?



I have more to say, but lack the time.
It's my uncle's birthday and we're about to sing to him.



Much Love & Remembrance,

Katherine

You Decide.

The mask I've put on,
is getting worn.
It is a caricature of
what I once was.
Who I am now,
is a ghost of what
I could be.

Now the question remains,
which one is really me?

Lost in Time.

You know, there are times when I know exactly what I'm doing, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get everything done.

This weekend was not one of those weekends.

I had homework. Didn't do much of it.
I was supposed to clean my room. Cleaned up most of it.
Now I have an hour until I go to work, and then I'll come home, shower, go to bed, and oh, what do you know? I have school in the 7:00 A.M.

I wish I was less of a procrastinator, more of a go getter.
I guess I can start right now.

Fine.
I may be a procrastinator, but my guilty conscience always gets me going.

Have a good week everyone!

Much Love & Procrastination,

Katherine